#his ex was jason and he was supposed to run into them and steve was supposed to be like 'watch and learn carver'

[fuctacles]

I just need a lil blurb of some nasty fucking pretty please 🥺

i am so sorry i am not good at writing smut im sorry. also u said nasty and all i could think about was sw e a t

this is ofc 800 words for 800 followers but tumblr brought me back to 693 since then lmao | Ao3

Steve likes Mondays.

Everyone leaves early, and he gets to close the gym by himself. He owns the place, he has the key, he can loiter around as much as he wants, and do everything as slowly as he feels like. There's no need to throw anyone out because even the most dedicated gym bros don't want to overwork themselves at the start of the week. 

Except for one guy.

He looks extremely out of place and the first time Steve saw him, he gave him a month, maybe two, considering he would show up with friends sometimes—always a good incentive to exercise. But one day, when he was lazily walking on a treadmill in his ratty sneakers and loose black clothes, Hargrove walked up to him, nodding at his shirt. New Guy, having no idea the whole gym was holding its breath, lowered his headphones and had a short exchange about metal music. They shook hands, sealing Munson's reluctant respect from other gym-goers.

If the lone wolf Hargrove, who bites anyone who even looks at him wrong, likes him, everyone else is also going to.

Eddie Munson still looks out of place and is extremely surprised every time a bulky guy approaches him to give advice instead of beating him up, but he's been going four months strong, which Steve finds impressive.

On Monday's playlists, he sneaks in some hard rock and any band he recognizes from Eddie's shirts. It was a Monday when Eddie told him about an ex that's been harassing him. On Monday nights, Eddie stays back, and they walk hand in hand through the dark parking lot. On Mondays, Steve fucks Eddie senseless in the empty gym.

He's still not sure how it happened. How a personal trainer and gym owner caught the eye of a scrawny metalhead, how their needs and wants aligned and clicked, but when he opens the locker room, there's only one person left there; tattoos on display and hair still dripping from the shower. 

"We're closed," he announces, gaining Eddie's attention. 

The man pouts. 

"Ah, I was hoping for a private session?" The towel falls from his hips, leaving him bare to the world. Which, right now, consists of one Steve Harrington. 

He closes the door. 

"Laying it on thick today, huh?" he tilts his head, approaching painfully slowly. 

"Ah, you see, I didn't have a dick in me for a whole week, I'm kind of desperate," Eddie admits, his smile turning shameless. 

Steve quirks his eyebrow. 

"Why do I doubt that? A slut like you?" He smiles meanly, finally within reach. Eddie seems to be vibrating out of his skin for a touch. 

"The wait makes it better," he says, a little bit breathy, eyes roaming over his body. 

Now that Steve could believe. Even if for a sliver of a second, he hoped it meant something else. 

He reaches out, thumb tracing the dip of Eddie's hips, but as the man shifts closer, his nose scrunches. 

"You stink."

Steve hums, grabbing his other side. 

"Yeah. You like it?"

"I just took a shower," he complains. 

A deflection. 

"Well, that's on you. Should have thought this through better, mister Dungeon Master."

"You're usually showered too!" he protests, grunting when he tries to stop Steve from pressing closer and gets his hands on his clammy pecs as a result. 

"Something came up." Steve shrugs, slowly engulfing him in his embrace. Eddie squirms, and to torment him a bit more, he lifts his arm.

"Steve—!"

He laughs and is about to release him and offer to shower together when he notices Eddie's face. Then, something else, hard and throbbing against his hip. A smirk blooms on his face.

"You do like it." 

"No."

"No?" Steve lifts an eyebrow. "You don't want my sweaty balls on your face?"

Eddie moans.

They look at each other with wide eyes, like they're both surprised by the sound. Steve laughs in surprise. 

"Well, why didn't you say so?"

He doesn't even have to push him down, Eddie goes to his knees without prompting, greedily pulling on his shorts. Once they're out of the way, he leans in and inhales, nose wedged between his thigh and groin. 

"Jesus," Steve mutters to himself, mesmerized by the view in front of him—the scrawny gym loser drunk on his pheromones, palming his rock-hard dick. "This really doing it for you, huh?"

Eddie whines, looking up at him with blacked-out pupils. Steve gets lightheaded with how fast the blood is rushing to his dick. 

"I want you on top of me."

Steve is initially confused, but when Eddie leans back to lie on the floor, he doesn't protest. Locker room linoleum might not be the best surface for sex, but he was going to take a shower anyway.

forgot to tag my little losers: @wheneverfeasible @phantomcat94

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#170):

2 with French-Algerian actor Ramzy Bedia:

🍿 Youssef Salem Is Successful is a broad French comedy about a failed Algerian writer, who suddenly becomes famous when his tell-all book about his family wins The Prix Goncourt for literature. I liked the score made up of electronic Berber beats, and the two strong female characters, unorthodox and feisty. 7/10.

/ Female Director

🍿 Pecan pie is a 2003 Michel Gondry short-short, made at the same time as 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'. Jim Carrey in pajamas drives a bedmobile while singing an Elvis tune.

🍿

2 more by unique Austrian documentarian Nikolaus Geyrhalter:

🍿 Homo Sapiens (2016) is an eerie, wordless and scoreless vision of post-human abandonment. Without explanations and with a static camera, it visits deserted locations around the world years after the people had given up on them. Derelict concert halls, prison cells, bank vaults and train cabins, from Fukushima, and Chernobyl, and the many other disaster areas people have left behind, surrounding them to the elements, letting the birds and the rain and the weeds take over again. It's hypnotic and transcendental.

It's as if Edward Burtynsky and the Koyaanisqatsi guys had sex with Werner Herzog, but decided not to give the new baby any clues. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. 9/10.

🍿 His 2005 Our daily bread was similar: Without voice over narration or subjectivity, it looks at the insides of giant agriculture factories, massive industrialized farms and high-tech conveyor belt food processing. How do the packages on the supermarket shelves get there? Who picks the tomatoes, the olives, the apples and peaches? Who inseminates the pigs, slaughters the cows, guts the salmons, collects the chickens and the salt in the ginormous mines? Endlessly fascinating. Makes you want to stop eating food.

🍿  

Steve Martin X 6:

🍿 STEVE! (Martin), the new 2-part in-depth documentary about this smart and melancholic comedian-musician. A warm and wonderful run-down through his rich life. He accomplished so much during his extraordinary career, and much of it so well. 9/10.

🍿 My third re-watch of his warm and funny An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life again, a riff on friendship. With friend Martin Short (Excellent in his 'Stepbrother to Jesus' number!). Impeccable comic timing. ♻️

🍿 Shopgirl, a wistful love-triangle, based on his novella and script, about class and romance. A lonely woman living in a Silverlake apartment, works at the glove counter of Saks Fifth Avenue. She is being wooed by two different men, an immature slacker and a sophisticated older Martin. Jason Schwartzman is generally unbearable to watch, but here he is an insufferable loser. Eventually, it's too slight, a perverted fantasy of a rich, white, old man. However, it's always nice to find Screenwriting Symmetry 101 touches, f. ex. when Martin kisses Claire Danes for the first time, it happens exactly at 46:00, one hour before the end of the story. 5/10.

🍿"Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom first?..." Another re-watch: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, an old-fashioned story with 60's sensibilities, which was indeed faithfully re-made of a 1964 Marlon Brando / David Niven vehicle. Mick Jagger and David Bowie were originally supposed to play the Steve Martin and Michael Caine roles. ♻️

🍿 The Absent Minded Waiter short (1977) was his first produced screenplay, directed by his friend and 'Jaws' co-writer Carl Gottlieb.

🍿 All of me, a lame "comedy" that aged poorly. Were the supernatural-themed 1980's nonsense the worst decade for movies? Just terrible. 1/10.

🍿  

2 more by Jean Vigo:

🍿 First watch: L'Atalante, the classic enigma about barge dwellers and incompatible newly-weds and an old skipper who loves cats. I'll need to watch it a second time in order to fully appreciate its beauty. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes.

🍿 Jean Vigo directed only 4 movies before dying of TB at the age of 29. His Jean Taris, Swimming Champion was an innovative documentary that introduced some poetic avant-garde effects, slow-mo, underwater reverse shots, innovative freeze frames. (Photo Above).

🍿

2 Eastern European classics from 1965:

🍿 The Oscar-winning WW2 drama The Shop on Main Street, still considered one of the best Czechoslovakian films. A dim-witted, henpecked carpenter in the Fascist Slovak State is appointed "Aryan controller" of a Jewish widow's store. With Ida Kamińska as the confused old lady. Another 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes.

🍿 Operation Y and Shurik's Other Adventures was the highest-grossing Soviet comedy in 1965, with 70 million tickets sold. 3 unrelated episodes of weird slapstick featuring some nerdy student named 'Shurik'. Tom & Jerry meet Richard Lester meet The Three Stooges. 2/10.

🍿

2 thrillers with lovely Paraguayan actress Lali González:

🍿 Rest in peace, a new, engaging Argentinian thriller about a debt-ridden industrialist who leaves his loving family behind in order to escape from a dangerous loan shark. Here Lali González plays a sexy young widow. The fancy Jewish wedding reminded me of a similar one in Damián Szifron's terrific film 'Wild Tales'. The ending was weak. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. 7/10.

🍿 "Run, Victor, run!" 7 Boxes (2012), my first thriller from Paraguay. Like the Brazilian 'City of God', it describes a world of acute poverty, which made it a tense watch. It tells of a young pushcart boy at the sprawling Asunción market who has to deliver some wooden boxes with unknown content. This Lali González was a cute teenager here. 6/10.

🍿

3 Temporal Loops:

🍿 Instead of watching my favorite rom-com 'Palm Spring' for the 14th or 15th time, I tried the other acclaimed time-loop story Russian doll, my first anything with Natasha Lyonne. But there was no comparison. The tired NYC hipster atmosphere didn't hold a candle to the sunny flow of Tala and Abe's wedding, and none of the characters were as lovable as Sarah & Nyles. Not even Greta Lee! The first season was hard enough to stay awake through. 2/10.

/ Female Director

🍿 Repeat Performance (1947) is the earliest film featuring the Time Loop Trop. But it works more with the Hollywood concept of 'Destiny', the idea that "If you wish upon a star, all your dreams will become true", no matter how unlikely. However, it's based on a second rate Noir script, made by an unremarkable director, and with uninspiring actors. 3/10.

🍿 12:01 PM came out before 'Groundhog Day', and set up many of the rules for playing 'Time Bounces' from that point forward. An ordinary office Nobody gets stuck but only during the one hour of his lunch break. It was nominated for the 1991 Oscars. 4/10.

🍿

3 shorts by surrealist Kansas City artist Suzan Pitt:

🍿 Asparagus, an avant-garde feminist film, which was shown together with Lynch's Eraserhead. Strangely erotic, psychedelically-fetishist, and politically-ambiguous. A 'Planète sauvage' / R. Crumb sensual nightmare, full of (literal) shit and swallowed phallus symbols.

🍿 Joy Street (1995), a journey of a depressed woman from suicide to a colorful healing.

🍿 Pinball (2013), a drug induced, dissonant, nearly-abstract headache, played fast to the discordant Ballet Mecanique (1952 revision).

/ Female Director

🍿

My second (after 'The Bigamist') directed by film pioneer Ida Lupino, The Hitch-Hiker. It was "the first American mainstream film noir directed by a woman" and, interestingly, portrayed the two men who were taken hostages by a psychotic killer as helpless and emasculated.

/ Female Director

🍿

2 directed by Demetri Martin:

🍿 "Crest Atheist Formula..." Demetri Martin: Demetri Deconstructed, his latest stand up. The first five minutes were weak, but the rest was hilarious and funny.

🍿 Dean, his 2016 directorial debut, a low-key comedy about overcoming loss, was apparently a semi-biographical attempt to deal with the death of his father. Similar Indie vibes to 'People, Places, Things' and many other stories about young Brooklynite illustrators grappling with love, parents, and growing up. His clever drawings (here and elsewhere) are really lovely. 7/10.

🍿

2 Danish Oscar contender shorts:

🍿 This Charming Man won the 2003 Oscar for best shorts. It's a terribly outdated comedy of errors about racism and micro-aggressions and about a Dane who got mistaken for an Pakistani immigrant. 1/10.

🍿 The sentimental On my mind was nominated in 2022 for the Best Live Action Short. I actually forgot that I've seen it before. ♻️

🍿

The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob, my second (and last!) flimsy, nervous comedy with Louis de Funès. When I was 10, I thought he was the funniest man alive, but in hindsight, he's just not. 1/10.

🍿

The Orchard End Murder (1981), a uneasy and unpleasant English story about two weirdos complicit in the senseless murder of an innocent girl on top of a heap of apples. 1/10.

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here)

[artificialqueens]

what doesn't kill me makes me want you more (branjie) - holtzmanns

read on ao3 | tumblr

“I did mean it, you know.” Brooke looks at her with such an intensity in her eyes, such conviction that Vanessa doesn’t even feel her ADD ass getting distracted by anything at all this time.

“Mean what?” Vanessa’s gonna play dumb. Gonna make Brooke say it again, ‘cause she’s never gonna tire of hearing it.

“That I love you.”

AN: In which Holtzmanns hears ‘Cruel Summer’ by Taylor Swift and has to write something because she has no self control whatsoever. Whoops? Poppedthep and Writ are absolute stars and the BEST for editing this and making it better.

“I did mean it, you know.” Brooke looks at her with such an intensity in her eyes, such conviction that Vanessa doesn’t even feel her ADD ass getting distracted by anything at all this time.

“Mean what?” Vanessa’s gonna play dumb. Gonna make Brooke say it again, ‘cause she’s never gonna tire of hearing it.

“That I love you.”

Even though it fucking hurts every time.

“Good. You better.” She deflects, shoves Brooke’s side to make her laugh, ‘cause what else is she supposed to do?

It’s not like Brooke’s words actually mean anything. Not in the way Vanessa wants them to, needs them to.

They’re empty. Empty promises, a bandage wrapped around an amicable breakup that sure as hell ain’t been easy to get over.

Because no matter how much Brooke says them, no matter the way she had to snap her fingers in front of Vanessa’s face earlier to get her to focus, to pay attention so that she could say ‘I love you’,  Vanessa knows they don’t matter.

‘Cause Vanessa knows that Brooke doesn’t love her enough.

Brooke still goes after every hoe, every hot piece of trade that she wants to take back to her hotel room, going home with them. She knows she’s the shit. She doesn’t care that Vanessa sees, ‘cause why would it matter to her now?

They’re not together.

Brooke doesn’t love her like that. Enough to stop herself from sleeping around, enough to commit.

Vanessa’s fine with it, she is. Mostly ‘cause she has to be. How else is she gonna survive touring with her ex?

It beats the fighting, the nasty words. The cruel barbs she regrets the second they leave her mouth when she sees the way that Brooke’s eyes falter. Brooke can get away with causing Vanessa pain, fucking around, not giving a shit. But Vanessa’s unable to come for Brooke in any way that would leave a permanent mark on her pale skin.

It’s not Brooke’s fault. She doesn’t say anything. It’s Vanessa’s own inner voice, tutting in her head, Chile…don’t do that. Don’t stay stooping low.

Now that she thinks about it, her inner voice sounds a lot like A’keria.

They share an Uber back to the Gladstone Hotel with Jason and Steve ‘cause it’s cost efficient, not that either of them have to worry about money anymore. They’re still in drag and Vanessa’s feet are killing her, pinching in her heeled boots but at least she looks fucking good in them. Brooke still towers over her and Vanessa has to speed up her pace to keep up as they walk through the lobby.

Jason and Steve get off at their respective floors. They leave Vanessa in the elevator with Brooke, ‘cause she’s on the seventh floor and Brooke’s pressed the 6 button for herself. Vanessa doesn’t have to look up to know that Brooke’s eyes are on her, trailing up her dress and lingering on the highlight on her shoulders and the hand that she runs through her hair. Her gaze feels like it lights a flame across her body, burning and burning. It never burns bright enough to bring Vanessa down for good, make her fully fall apart. She always manages to survive it, albeit a little worse for wear.

The elevator dings when it reaches the sixth floor, and Brooke takes a step as the doors open. She doesn’t leave fully, though, one foot still in the elevator. She turns around, gives Vanessa those eyes. The ones that Vanessa can never fucking say no to ‘cause something about Brooke makes her weak.

“You coming?”

Vanessa rolls her eyes, huffs, as if she’s not clamoring to follow her. “Fine, bitch. You better have extra makeup wipes.”

Vanessa sits cross legged on Brooke’s bathroom counter in her underwear, stripping her face of the makeup and glitter that acts like an extra set of armour, though one not thick enough to protect her from what she so desperately needs it to. She’s still here, de-dragging with Brooke whom she’s as hung up over they way she is over Brock.

Rinsing off his face and washing off the remnants of the Branjie gig isn’t cleansing enough for Jose to bring him a sense of peace or closure. How can it, when Brock is shaking out the mess of curls on top of his head and looking at Jose like he’s a piece of meat or something?

Jose really ought to become a vegetarian. It would save him from being hung up over someone that don’t want him back. At least, not like that.

Brock puts his hands on either side of the counter where Jose is sitting, effectively boxing him in while he’s facing the mirror. It fills Jose’s nose with a mix of Brock’s shampoo from the morning, aftershave, and a spritz or two of perfume that he sprays on when he’s Brooke. A concoction that never fails to twist Jose’s heart in excitement and longing alike.

How is it possible to long for someone who’s standing right in front of you? Jose doesn’t know. What he does know is that it’s not good for him, aging him too fast and soon he’s gonna look older than his mother, though it ain’t that much of a challenge ‘cause no one believes she’s his mom, anyway. Brock feels like sand that’s slipping through his fingers, an emptying hourglass that’ll never fill itself up again. Brock and him are gonna separate as they always do and Jose’s gonna be left empty and turned upside down on his head with nothing to fill his heart back up.

He’s tried. Tried to fit other guys into the hole that Brock’s left in his chest, but they never fit, never feel right. Brock’s ruined all other trade for him, which in Jose’s rulebook should be considered a capital offense. It doesn’t matter how much they look like Ryan Gosling or how sweet they treat him, taking care of him the way he deserves but doesn’t want from people who ain’t Brock.

Brock buries his face into Jose’s neck, and Jose can feel the scrunch of his eyes shut against his skin. Brock does this sometimes, holding him extra tight or closer than usual and Jose doesn’t want to complain, ‘cause really, he wishes he’d be important enough to Brock for him to never let go.

Jose lets Brock grab his shoulders, turn him around so his back is to the mirror and his legs dangle off the counter. He melts into the kiss that Brock presses to his lips ‘cause Brock always makes him feel so warm from the inside out. He lets Brock push him onto the bed, eagerly pulls Brock closer. If he’s only gonna get Brock occasionally, when they’re in the same cities and maybe a little bit tipsy and their inhibitions and common senses are down for the count, he may as well enjoy it, right?

It’s gonna hurt later. When he has to leave Brock’s hotel suite in the morning for his own and go back to pretending that he’s fine, that their arrangement is fine and that he’s not a second away from breaking down over it again, like he always tends to do when he’s had one too many tequila shots and listened to too many sad songs and the only word that his brain can think is Brock Brock Brock.

But that ain’t now. Right now Jose has Brock on top of him, pressing kisses everywhere like he’s the most precious thing in the world, and it’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter that Brock won’t keep believing it after they both come.

It’s not ‘til it’s four a.m. and neither of them are sleeping that Jose says something. He’s resting his head on top of Brock’s chest, and can feel Brock trace patterns along his shoulder blades, the base of his spine, the curve of his ribs.

“We could go back to this. All the time. It wouldn’t be hard to do.”

Brock’s fingers stop moving. Jose can feel the way that Brock stiffens underneath him, the way that his heartbeat quickens.

“We can’t.”

It’s a conversation that they’ve had before. Too many times before.

“We could. Me and you. Not for the fans or for anyone else or nothing. Just us. I know you miss it, Toes.” As if the nickname is going to make Brock bend. It nearly does, ‘cause Jose catches Brock’s fingers twitching.

“You know what will happen if we do.” Brock’s voice is tired and worn and Jose almost hates that he’s the one who’s caused it. Almost. ‘Cause Brock’s gone and fucked him up, too.

The two of them cancel each other out. Yin and yang, molten and ice.

“What? What’s gonna happen?” Jose makes Brock say it every time. He’s not gonna stop asking, as if Brock’s logic will suddenly not be as airtight anymore.

Jose wants them to work so badly. He wants it, his heart wants it, hell, his entire body wants it and never wants to let Brock go whenever they’re like this, all intertwined as if they’re just two regular people that are together.

And yet, they always have to drift apart. Brock takes a piece of him each time he goes, and Jose knows he does ‘cause what else could explain the hole in his chest that seems to grow every time that he walks away?

“We’re always flying to different places, we’re never in the same time zones anymore. Our schedules are ridiculous right now. Adding that extra pressure would make things worse, you know that.” Brock’s voice is quiet, and Jose almost doesn’t hear it over the hum of the ceiling fan, the sounds of driving cars outside of the hotel window.

“We’d make it work, if we wanted.” Jose wants to. He really, really, wants to. More than anything he’s wanted his whole life.

“We already tried.” Brock sounds defeated. “You know what happened with that.”

Jose getting jealous of every hoe that Brock talked to, hugged, interacted with. Brock pulling away from him, as far as he could to give himself some space, as if being around literally anyone else was a better option.

Jose had felt like he was chasing a ghost, whispers of Brock because he was never truly there, not in the way that Jose needed. Jose gets it. He’s a lot, he’s a handful. But he wants the best, goes after the best, because he deserves it.

Brock’s the best, in his eyes. So soft and sweet and shady and Jose fits in the crook of his arm like he belongs there, even though he knows that he can’t stay there forever.

Jose wishes he could, though. That getting back together wouldn’t immediately mean destruction for the both of them.

“Doesn’t mean you should go, though.” Brock wraps an arm around his waist, pulls him closer. Jose wants to lift his face up and scream at him for being so flippy floppy but he also wants to scream at himself, ‘cause of course he’s not going to leave, not when his heart never wants to leave Brock in the first place.

“Stay.” Brock’s voice is all soft in his ear and Jose’s resolve is already on the ground when Brock’s hands start to trail up his sides.

He’s too weak for it.

“Can’t go. I know you’d cry yourself to sleep if I did.” Jose grins up at Brock, trying not to think about the fact that Brock probably wouldn’t even care. Would he?

Jose hates it. As sweet as he’s being right now, he knows Brock’s gonna be ignoring him by next week. Not responding to his calls, his texts, unless he wants something ‘cause they always play by Brock’s rules and it’s giving Jose whiplash.

Brock’s all warm right now, and being in his arms is making Jose feel like he never frosted over in the first place. As if this were a year ago, and they were newly together and everything was fresh and exciting and new and not marred by scars that both of them carved with dull knives into their intertwined hearts. If he closes his eyes, they could be back there. All new and tentative and exciting.

But they’re not. They’ll never go back to that. Brock’s made it clear.

It’s fine. Jose’s fine with it.

He is.

Jose still has a piece of Brock, anyway, even though nights like these cause burns upon his skin in the aftermath. Like he’s never gonna heal from the effect that Brock has on him. Like it doesn’t even matter, ‘cause he doesn’t want to.

Brock’s always gonna tug on his belt loops, pull him into an empty rooms, hallways, each others’ hotel rooms. ‘Cause this is what they do now.

It’s better.

Jose has to accept it, go with it, even though it burns.

[coffee-and-2-am-writing]

Kiss and Tell

Sam was banned from using magic for several reasons. Many of them I got to personally experience, though none targeted me directly except for one. You see, Sam wanted to find a faster way to get home and being the impatient person he is Sam tried to create a spell to get us home after a long day. Needless to say, he messed up big time and yours truly ended up in an entirely different universe. It was difficult to tell at first. New York City was generically the same, the buildings just as high, the streets justs as busy, the city just as noisy etc. But when the last thing you’ve seen is your idiot of a wizard friend suddenly vanishing, you get the feeling that something is wrong. At first, I thought maybe he had teleported himself somewhere or turned himself invisible.

“Sam? Sam what did you do?” No answer proved the later question wasn’t true. So maybe texting Sam instead would get some answers. I didn’t have any service, for some reason my phone wouldn’t work at all. Obviously, this was worrying to me. It felt like that one scene in the first Captain America where Steve Rogers gets out into the modern world and looks confused as hell.

If someone had seen me during that time, that could probably confirm that I pretty much looked like that scene almost exactly.

There weren’t many places that Sam could’ve gone to. His work, Jakes’ place, the apartment building and Cherry’s were the main places that you could find most anyone in our friend group. I decided on heading to Cherry’s, even if Sam wasn’t there hopefully Lani would be and she could help me sort out whatever was going on. The streets seemed a bit different, stores weren’t where they were supposed to be or knock off stores like the Calina Klein store and others like that. It took several wrong turns and asking some confused people in the street to get to the familiar cafe. Yet even there something seemed off. From looking in through the windows I couldn’t spot the energetic red headed woman who usually was walking around talking to most anyone she could. I only could see a red headed man instead, greeting people from behind the counter with another guy standing next to him.

Never once had I ever seen either one of them before in all the years I’ve ever been to Cherry’s.

Nonetheless, I headed in on my mission to find Lani no matter who was at the counter.

“Hi, I’m Cherry what can I get you?” A weird noise of surprise came from my throat. This man was not Cherry, Cherry was a short lady who was for sure not this muscular man with a beard. Despite giving him a weird look, the man claiming to be Cherry continued to smile at him.

“Uh, sorry, I’m looking for my friend Lani Farrell. Is she in right now?”

“Do you mean Landon?” The boy next to “Cherry” asked. “It’s an often confusion, my sister calls me that sometimes in public to embarrass me.” I looked at him in confusion. Who the hell was Landon? Why did I care about what his sister called him? Where was Lani?

“No, no I mean Lani. I need to talk to her about the stupid thing that her boyfriend, Sam, has done. It’s urgent.” His face turned very serious instantly before suddenly he was coming around and pulling me to the side to chat. “What did Sam do? She’s done a lot of stupid things.”

“Is your Sam a wizard?”

“How did you-.”

“Do you live with her and your brother wait no sister?” Landon’s brows furrowed together, confusion clear on his face.

“Who the hell are you? How do you know that?” It was all starting to set in. Sam hadn’t set himself far away. No, he had sent me into a whole other universe. Another dimension where Lani was now a male and Sam, Mori and Cherry were female. Did that mean the rest of the gang also were other genders? Was there a female me? Now that was an intriguing question.

“Look, Landon, my Sam made a big mistake and I’m not too sure if you are going to believe me but I’m kinda hoping you will.My name is Jason Romanos.” I took a deep breath. “And I think Sam sent me into a different dimension.” For a long time he just stared at me, maybe thinking over what I had just told him. Although I had no idea, maybe he just thought I was pretty who knows. But he was staring at my face for a long time, it felt like someone was staring into my soul. I didn’t know much about kitsune but I wasn’t sure whether or not that was something they could do. Eventually I was let go and he took a step back.

“Okay, I kinda believe you. You’re gonna need to stay here though, try not to interact with too many people. After every episode of Doctor Who that I’ve seen I cannot have you messing anything up here. So just stay here and I’ll get Sam and we’ll send ya back okay?” I nodded slowly before he was off quickly out the door, shouting some excuse to “Cherry” as he left. And then I was stuck there, not that I wanted to leave anyhow. Cherry’s at least had coffee, and if you were close enough to Cherry sometimes the occasional beer. It seemed unlikely I would be getting myself beer in this universe so I got myself coffee instead and sat at the counter.

What if I didn’t get home? How would Naomi and Charlie survive without me? Or worse, I thought, how would I survive without Namoi and Charlie? I couldn’t stay in in this other universe, if all the genders here were swapped then my job belonged to some girl version of me. Hopefully a hot girl version of me. Grinning slightly to myself, I sipped my coffee idly trying to picture what girl me looked like.

“Hi.” Assuming the greeting was for me, I looked up to where the voice had come from. I was greeted by a smiling blonde leaning up against the counter next to me. My grin slowly turned into a sly smirk as I turned my body slightly to face her.

“Hi there.”

“Mind if I join you?” With a shake of my head, the blonde took the seat next to me. As a waitress came over and she ordered herself some coffee, I took the time to really look at this girl. If she could take my mind off of everything that was going on in the moment, it’d be perfect. Glancing at the door as well it didn’t look like Landon was going to be back any time soon, perhaps I could convince this blonde to go get drinks or something before I was whisked away back to the universe I belonged in.

“So, can I ask why a beautiful girl decided to grace my presence?” She nearly choked on her drink, her face turning a nice light pink color as she began to laugh lightly.

“You just, you looked kind of lonely if I’m being honest. And my friends kind of pushed me to come over and talk to you.” The blonde gestured behind her at two brunettes who were watching the two of them closely. They both waved slightly at me, one giving me a cheeky wink.

“How nice of them, what are their names?” I never asked her name, did I

“Oh um the one on the right is Steph and the one on the left is Jess.” Funny, their names sounded close to...oh. I had found Stefan and myself.Giving a slight wave back I looked over myself and damn, I was one hella hot girl. I didn’t know you could turn yourself on.

“Nice names, and I’m realizing now that I never got yours and you never got mine,” I laughed holding out my hand to her. “I’m Jason.”

“I’m Marcie. Marcie Jackson.” My smirk returned faster than Usain Bolt running in the olympics. Girl Marcus was hot, it was nice to see we were all attractive in this universe as well.

“Well Marcie, how would you like to go get a drink? And I don’t mean more coffee.” Her face turned a shade darker and I began to see the similarities between her and my Marcus back home. Both did not take compliments well.

“I’m not sure-”

“She’d love to, I’ll just drink the rest of your drink.” One of the girls from the table had joined us. She gave me a smile, or was it a slight smirk, that seemed eerily familiar.

“I’m Jess Romanos.” Ah, that’s was why. I shook her hand introducing myself, not bothering to give my last name. I was even hotter up close, it should’ve been impossible to be so attracted to yourself but god damn. “Anyways, I’m sure Marcie would love to get drinks with you Jason.” The look Marcie was giving her friend said otherwise. After a few harsh whispers between the two, Jess was taking Marcie’s cup of coffee and leaving with a wink sent towards us, it wasn’t clear to whom it was more towards. Knowing myself, it could’ve been to either of us.

Taking Marcie to get drinks was not my best plan I’ll admit it. Landon was going to get me help, it would’ve been responsible to stay put and wait for him to come back to go home. But when you’re stuck in a parallel universe with the very attractive girl version of your neighbor, you may want to take advantage of that. 

Especially if they start flirting with you.

I remembered a few things from that night after that point if I’m honest. We ended up having quite a few drinks at the bar and back at her place later on. One of the things I remember was being dragged into the girl’s bathroom as a panicked Marcie looked for somewhere to escape from seeing her ex in the place we ended up going to. When Marcus got flustered around me it usually ended up with him telling me to go fuck myself or almost punching me in the face. Flustered Marcie was just really shy and, well, flustered.

I decided I liked flustered Marcie a lot better than her counterpart pretty fast.

“I’m sorry he’s just-he cheated on me and I have no idea what he’s doing here he’s not even supposed to be in the city and last time I saw Eli was a bad night and I just-I’m really sorry I just dragged you into a bathroom.” She laughed nervously looking around her awkwardly. “I’m so sorry, this is probably all really weird right?”

“A little bit, but honestly it’s not the weirdest thing to happen to me today.” I chuckled, my gaze dropping for a moment to her lips as she bit her bottom one. 

“But uh that may be a story for another time.” Another time that would never come around, but Marcie didn’t know that. No, she was still biting her god damn lip. The blonde could’ve talked about anything, I just hummed occasionally something that sounded like I was listening as Marcie and was not just completely entranced by her lips instead. They were quite pink, whether from lipstick or something else.

“-like I said I’m really...sorry...Jason are you okay?” My eyes snapped back up to her confused blue eyes, attempting to act like I hadn’t just spent her whole little spiel staring at her mouth.

“Hm? I’ll be fine in a moment, give me a second I have to do something quickly.” Cupping her face, my lips were pressed against hers. In my opinion it was all very very smooth. She made a small noise of surprise before she was kissing me back. To most, making out in the girls bathroom is kind of strange. There are stranger places that you could make out with someone at, I’ve been to quite a few so trust me.

Kissing Marcie was both strange and enjoyable. Technically I was kissing Marcus, but this version of him actually seemed to like me and was a joy to be around. Not to mention, a great kisser. Her lips were soft, and it was easy to figure out that pinkness was not lipstick as none was on my own lips after the brief kiss. I had said it would be quick, but I found myself being disappointed when I pulled away from her. From where we stood, I could see and feel the smirk I held before making it’s way back. Marcie looked slightly in shock, her hands still resting on my chest where she had placed them in the midst of our kiss.

“Okay, I’m good now.” Her face flushed as she opened and shut her mouth like a fish. Perhaps that was moving too fast for her, after all it was technically Marcus and I could not remember the last time I had ever seen him on a date. Like, ever.

“Well now I’m not.” Marcie’s words were quiet and I never really got a chance to ask her what she meant as my lips were brought back to hers. When I had kissed her it had been careful and sort of slow. When Marcie kissed me? She had placed her hands on the back of my neck and pulled my face down to hers, kissing me quite roughly. It was something I would have never expected from someone who was supposed to be the shy and generally unconfident neighbor. Like I said, I only remember so much. I remember we somehow maneuvered so I had her pressed against the wall as we made out in the bathroom, and that eventually someone came in and kicked us out. While we had been there we had each had one or two drinks, so we weren’t drunk and I don’t believe the alcohol we consumed that night had anything to do with the attraction nor why I don’t remember all of it. The latter is more scientifical stuff and is boring so we won’t go down that road.

After getting kicked out I ended up walking Marcie home. The route was familiar, after all in another world the exact same path was void of the both of us instead being walked by perhaps the gang and some strangers. Looking down at Marcie, she had a permanent flush to her cheeks for the entire walk back to her place.

“Are you cold? Your face looks kinda red.” Her blush deepened, trying to hide it in the collar of her coat.

“I’m fine, just embarrassed. I’ve never gotten kicked out of a place for making out with someone in the bathroom before.”

“If I’m being honest, I don’t have the same feeling.” This recieved a look I was quite used to see from Marcus only now it was on a slightly shorter female with bouncy blonde curls. “What? I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve made out with people in bathrooms and have gotten kicked out. It’s fine, life goes on.” I told her, grinning slightly as she huffed, blowing a strand of hair from her face.

“You’re practically a stranger Jason and I just made out with you in a bathroom of some bar. That’s not normal for me whereas with what you just said it seems pretty normal for you.” I felt that sting there at the end, that still didn’t make me ashamed of what I had done in the past. It was the past, and my ways were my ways. I was a siren, it was my nature to be like that but this wasn’t something Marcie needed to hear.

“Getting out of your comfort zone and doing things you’ve never done before is a good coping method most of the time. What are you coping with?”

“Seeing my lying, cheating, bastard of an ex.” I nodded in understanding. Everyone had someone that just seeing them could lead them to make dumb decisions. I was curious if that had been the reasoning she held when she invited me in. Or if had been her reasoning for offering me another drink. Or if it had been the reason she had kissed me again while we were sat on the couch. Or if it had been the reason behind her leading me to her room. Or if it had been the reason for her eventually pushing me on the bed, kissing me more before proceeding to help me get her clothes off and my own off.

Perhaps I lied, maybe I do remember a lot of it.

But just from being in 7D helped learn a few things that I could use to my advantage in my proper world. 1. Marcie had a stash of an assortment of snacks in her room to keep hidden from Jess and Stephanie 2.They are really good snacks 3. A slightly tipsy Marcie is a very, very honest, giggly and kind of decently good at flirting Marcie 4. Marcie wasn’t just a great kisser. Oh no, she was good at a lot of other things.

And yes, her being good in bed is one of those things mentioned above. There had been a brief panic at one point of whether I had a condom or not but thanks to the very generous roommate, there was a condom on her nightstand along with a note telling us to have a good time along with a winky face. It was signed Jess so I wanted to thank myself for looking out for me.

The next morning, waking up was almost blissful. Keyword there: almost. I got out of Marcie’s bed carefully looking for my pants, because god knows where they had ended up when there was urgent knocking on the door before it was opening and there stood Landon.

A great surprise truly. Especially the extreme look of slight disgust and a little bit of disappointment. But mainly anger. Yeah there was a lot of anger in his eyes and in his voice as he dragged me out of the apartment practically by the ear.

Okay.

Maybe it was literally by the ear but that’s besides the point. I was scolded as if I was four years old by both Landon and Samantha, who also looked very nice in this universe but I kept that to myself as to not upset either of them any further. In the end, honing in on the energy my world Sam was using to get me back, Samantha managed to get me home.

Upon arrival, I socked Sam in the shoulder with a light threat to murder him if he ever did that to me again. Of course, I explained where I ended up and described what their counterparts looked like to the best of my ability, though there was a snap decision to wait until the right moment to share that I had made out with and hooked up with Marcie Jackson. Would I word it like that? 

Probably not.

Would I word in a way to make sure that when it was announced coffee was spit out like a spit take? Hell yeah.

Until then I had a certain apartment to break into to steal some food and certain blonde to bother.

[tmbacorbett]

Release Blitz: Legendary Box Set

Title: Legendary Box Set

Author: Multi-Authors

Genre: SciFi Fantasy

Cover Designer: Paper Gold Publishing

Publication Date: January 5th, 2019 Hosted by: Lady Amber's Reviews & PR

Blurb:

From the publishers of Legends and Legacy, the two longest-running, best-selling sci-fi fantasy collections comes…

LEGENDARY

Freecurrent: The Legacy by Deanna J. Compton

A long-lost diary promising a world where magic and dragons rule.

Bernie and the Lost Girl by Steve Lebel

Not long ago, a young girl disappeared, and all of God Town feared for her life. After extensive searches, little Emily could not be found.

Mecha 1: Steel Trap by Brendon Berg

Earth has become devoid of anything natural due to large scale fracking. The planet is a barren, devastated, global wasteland. Jason, an ex-marine, discovers his training doesn’t count for much on Mecha 1.

The Tin of Honey by Holly Barbo

Life is tough for Zoe in the new world. As a small child, her voice can never be heard and she may as well be invisible. Except as a slave.

Adamanta: Season 1, Episode 1 by T.Y. Carew

For humanity, hope is merely a fantasy, until Colonel Xander Finlay meets Matt. She’s mastered control of a brand-new technology. A new weapon. Can her experience and her parent’s lifetime of research turn the tide of war?

Pick of the Litter - A Mutt is Born by Sean Gallatin

He can survive on the junkyard planet. The pack of dogs provide some company, but he must find a way to get away and pay someone back. Can he cobble together something that will get him off world and back in the game?

A Fire's Sacrifice by Jess Mountifield

Narway's life will never be the same. Her father is dead. Almost entirely alone she must choose between two paths. Whatever she decides she'll have to make a sacrifice.

Martin Little Resurrected by Ella Medler

Meet Martin Little -- Little by name, little by fortune, and with a luck to match those two. Once he breaks into Heaven, it's all a downhill slide to Hell.

Deirdre’s Dawn by J. Michael McFadden

Young Deirdre loves Celtic lore. Are the heroic stories true or legend? Living in year 1000, she avidly reads ancient manuscripts at the Abbey will she become part of the stories? Best friend Culain dares her to discover Ancestral Secrets in the Enchanted Ards Forest! Will faerie magic prevail over her doubts?

Lost Shadows by Julie Elizabeth Powell

Not only had Adam lost his parents in a car crash, but he’d also forgotten who he was. Pamela is haunted by the patient who was murdered by her father. Barbara and Mike have mysterious secrets. Harry seeks solace at the bottom of a glass. Most are strangers, all are haunted by darkness – does this unite them? Will they find what is lost?

The Owner by Nathan Boxall

Peace on earth! That's what the elves promised when they came out of hiding. We did get that, but do we know what it cost us?

Zero Cadence by Rene Folsom

“I am intrigued by the notion that love was once a choice. The adventure of falling in love, finding your soul mate amongst billions of people around the Earth, seems so much more realistic than being told who you’re meant to be with for eternity. I feel like I would much rather go through loss and heartache in order to find my true match, instead of being told by a stupid internal timer when my soul will finally be complete.”

The Timely Gift by Suzy Stewart Dubot

Ivan Tait, Lord Palmer, has a gift. One might suppose that it is his astounding good looks, but one would be wrong. His gift is not visible. A time-travel novella.

In Pursuit of Cheese A Cat and CoDee Novella by Cherime MacFarlane

Greenhouse II, one world where Cat can be herself, may no longer be safe. As they struggle to communicate without using their bond, neither sense the menace lurking in the warm jungle. A catastrophe on a far-off world which produces a fine cheese may prove to be Cat’s undoing.

Buy Link:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2CMiv5z

Participating Authors:

Deanna J. Compton

Steve Lebel

Brendon Berg

Holly Barbo

T.Y. Carew

Sean Gallatin

Jess Mountifield

Ella Medler

Rene Folson

Stewart Dubot

Cherime MacFarlane

J. Michael McFadden

Julie Elizabeth Powell

Nathan Boxall

Buy Link:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2CMiv5z

source https://www.tmbacorbett.com/2019/01/release-blitz-legendary-box-set.html

[joyffree]

#NewRelease ➙ Title: Legendary Box Set Author: Multi-Authors Genre: SciFi Fantasy From the publishers of Legends and Legacy, the two longest-running, best-selling sci-fi fantasy collections comes… LEGENDARY Freecurrent: The Legacy by Deanna J. Compton A long-lost diary promising a world where magic and dragons rule. Bernie and the Lost Girl by Steve Lebel Not long ago, a young girl disappeared, and all of God Town feared for her life. After extensive searches, little Emily could not be found. Mecha 1: Steel Trap by Brendon Berg Earth has become devoid of anything natural due to large scale fracking. The planet is a barren, devastated, global wasteland. Jason, an ex-marine, discovers his training doesn’t count for much on Mecha 1. The Tin of Honey by Holly Barbo Life is tough for Zoe in the new world. As a small child, her voice can never be heard and she may as well be invisible. Except as a slave. Adamanta: Season 1, Episode 1 by T.Y. Carew For humanity, hope is merely a fantasy, until Colonel Xander Finlay meets Matt. She’s mastered control of a brand-new technology. A new weapon. Can her experience and her parent’s lifetime of research turn the tide of war? Pick of the Litter - A Mutt is Born by Sean Gallatin He can survive on the junkyard planet. The pack of dogs provide some company, but he must find a way to get away and pay someone back. Can he cobble together something that will get him off world and back in the game? A Fire's Sacrifice by Jess Mountifield Narway's life will never be the same. Her father is dead. Almost entirely alone she must choose between two paths. Whatever she decides she'll have to make a sacrifice. Martin Little Resurrected by Ella Medler Meet Martin Little -- Little by name, little by fortune, and with a luck to match those two. Once he breaks into Heaven, it's all a downhill slide to Hell. Deirdre’s Dawn by J. Michael McFadden Young Deirdre loves Celtic lore. Are the heroic stories true or legend? Living in year 1000, she avidly reads ancient manuscripts at the Abbey will she become part of the stories? Best friend Culain dares her to discover Ancestral Secrets in the Enchanted Ards Forest! Will faerie magic prevail over her doubts? Lost Shadows by Julie Elizabeth Powell Not only had Adam lost his parents in a car crash, but he’d also forgotten who he was. Pamela is haunted by the patient who was murdered by her father. Barbara and Mike have mysterious secrets. Harry seeks solace at the bottom of a glass. Most are strangers, all are haunted by darkness – does this unite them? Will they find what is lost? The Owner by Nathan Boxall Peace on earth! That's what the elves promised when they came out of hiding. We did get that, but do we know what it cost us? Zero Cadence by Rene Folsom “I am intrigued by the notion that love was once a choice. The adventure of falling in love, finding your soul mate amongst billions of people around the Earth, seems so much more realistic than being told who you’re meant to be with for eternity. I feel like I would much rather go through loss and heartache in order to find my true match, instead of being told by a stupid internal timer when my soul will finally be complete.” The Timely Gift by Suzy Stewart Dubot Ivan Tait, Lord Palmer, has a gift. One might suppose that it is his astounding good looks, but one would be wrong. His gift is not visible. A time-travel novella. In Pursuit of Cheese A Cat and CoDee Novella by Cherime MacFarlane Greenhouse II, one world where Cat can be herself, may no longer be safe. As they struggle to communicate without using their bond, neither sense the menace lurking in the warm jungle. A catastrophe on a far-off world which produces a fine cheese may prove to be Cat’s undoing. #LegendaryBoxSet   #SciFi #Fantasy #MustRead #MultiAuthor #Anthology #CharimeMacFarlane

[isee-right-throughme]

C’mon guys. Do better.

Look, I have been a huge fan of SNL since I was in sixth grade. I’ve rarely missed live shows since then, and I even saw it live with Bill Hader in 2014. I have bought numerous books about it and the players that come from it. One of my all-time favorite books is Darrell Hammond’s memoir. I used to say SNL was my form of church because I religiously watched it every Saturday, and I meditated on it after each episode. What was good? What was bad? What timing was off? Which jokes could I repeat to my family and they would laugh? I loved every minute of it. 2008 was a big year for SNL, and I was there to watch it all. They even had Thursday episodes because the election was so important. Their viewership skyrocketed, and suddenly, I could talk to everyone about it. 

My high praise and love for the show started decreasing when Donald Trump hosted in 2015. This was before the Hollywood Access tapes were found, but this was still during his Islamophobic remarks, his overt racism of Mexicans, and the sexual assault of his ex-wife. There were many things wrong with Donald Trump at this point, but NBC loved him. Their viewership was up again! Everyone wanted to watch the celebrity monkey attempt the presidency. Hillary was gonna win, no question, so why not have the Orangutang up on stage? Maybe because he’s a terrible human being that hurt million of people with his words? Maybe because we shouldn’t have normalized hate speech and racism and discrimination and ableism? Why give him the platform? He did not run a single ad campaign. He didn’t have to. NBC gave him the time. Now, of course, SNL cannot predict the future and did not know what was to come. But maybe they shouldn’t have gone there in the first place.

I did not watch that episode. That was one of the only episodes I chose to ignore entirely and not watch any clips or listen to any sound bites the next day. I did not know what to do next. Should I continue watching my beloved show? Comedy was such an important part of my life, and I could not leave it behind. Should I forgive Lorne and everyone for allowing this racist sexist homophobic lying pig to host my favorite, beloved show? 

Because I’m white and privileged, I had the advantage of being able to look past this episode. Because of my tradition and loyalty to the show, I knew I couldn’t give it up cold turkey.

And then last month Casey Affleck hosted. Again, I did not watch any clips (except for Kate McKinnon’s Love Actually as Hillary sketch because that went viral and I had to watch because I’m weak). I ignored the episode. Casey Affleck should not be normalized. The women he sexually harassed (if not assaulted) lost their jobs for speaking out, but the man who committed these crimes is going to be Oscar nominated. I was so tired of the blatant hypocrisy and sexism that run our daily lives that I started getting mad. I was mad at SNL for not holding these people accountable. In any other job title, these men would have lost their jobs (probably not because of how sexist and ridiculous society is as a whole but their actions would hold more weight in their fields). Hollywood always turns a blind eye towards sexual assault. SNL can pretend it’s avant-garde and edgy but it’s Hollywood just the same. You can make a thousand jokes about the Catholic Church covering up sexual assault of minors and child molestation, but you’re literally doing the same thing. 

And then tonight, we have the beloved Aziz Ansari give a wonderful monologue about the current state of the US with some clever lines and tidbits. But then he equates Donald Trump and Chris Brown. And he’s absolutely right. People looked the other way for various reasons. For Brown it was because he was once a talented artist. He was welcomed back to award shows later and he sold albums for years after he committed a heinous crime. Donald Trump is accused of sexual assault over a dozen times, and is on tape admitting to it, and he becomes the President of the United States. So yeah, a lot of people looked away.

But then in this same episode where Ansari makes this great analogy, you have Big Sean performing. There’s no mention of his 2011 legal battle where he and another man held a 17-year-old girl against her will and sexually assaulted her. Sure, the charges were lessened when he pleaded guilty to “unlawful imprisonment.” That’s still a really big deal. And we’re all just going to forget about that? We’re all just going to let him take the stage at SNL and pretend it didn’t happen? How could you have this analogy in the monologue and then allow this man to take the stage? 

But then the question becomes: where do we draw the line? How many hosts in the past have been accused of sexual assault? Domestic violence? Racism? Homophobia? Sexism? 

When Andrew Dice Clay hosted in 1990, Nora Dunn told the press she was boycotting the show. Now there were some complications with this, but the female cast was hounded by calls from the public of how on earth they could support this man and stay with the show? Now, I have an affinity toward Lorne Michaels because I think he’s a comedic genius and just a genius overall, but this was all on him. He’s a show runner. He’s THE show runner. He should have taken over and had Steve or Tom come in and host that week. This was not about the women of the show taking a stand because they have contracts and this is their dream job. This is all Lorne. This is where he should have protected the cast.

He should have done that with Cheeto. 

But there’s more to viewership than there is to moral conduct.

My sister is really good at cutting TV shows off when they promote something she does not like. She stopped watching Ellen (WHO CANNOT LOVE ELLEN DEGENERES?) after she had Kobe Bryant on. I agree with her boycott completely because there should have been no normalization of Kobe Bryant, especially by someone like Ellen. So my sister stopped watching her show. A devout viewer who would watch clips online and watch it every day at the gym, stopped cold turkey.

I do not have that ability. SNL has become a part of my personality. I have memorized sketches and characters’ catchphrases. Kristen Wiig and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Nasim Pedrad and Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones and Bill Hader and Kenan Thompson and Colin Jost and Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon and Darrell Hammond and Rachel Dratch and Bobby Moynihan and Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikas and Will Forte and Gilda Radner and Dan Ackroyd and John Belushi and Eddie Murphy and Sasheer Zamata and Aidy Bryant and Andy Samberg and Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon and David Spade and Taran Killam and Tracy Morgan and Phil Hartman are all home to me. SNL is a comfort to me. But this week I was disappointed, again. 

I think it might be because I hold SNL to such a high standard. I hold it like a religion. But it’s not perfect. It has its flaws. Tonight, they had an extended joke about the FriendZone, which is literally a joke from like 2013 that has come back to haunt us, and I sat there thinking, “This is it? During one of the most tumultuous presidencies in modern times, this is what we are offering? Another sexist point of view where the ‘nice guy’ loses?” It’s tiring. It’s tiring to grow and change and not have your favorite show change with you. I sometimes think SNL and I are connected in some way, but that’s pretty big of me to claim because the show literally could survive without me. I do not contribute much to it. 

Should I just continue to call them out every time they have a host like Casey Affleck or Cheeto of America? Should I stop watching entirely? Should I stop expecting so much from a weekly variety show based on a network that I’ve devoted probably a sixteenth of my life to? 

An essay like this is supposed to end in some gigantic flourish where I write off stunningly and everyone is impressed with all the points I made. 

But that’s not how this one will end. 

Should I stop watching this show?

I don't know. 

[newagesispage]

                                                              FEBRUARY          2020

PAGE  RIB

 *****

Just as we said good bye to 2019, 75 of The Rolling Stones outtakes and such were released for a minute on You tube.  The thinking seems to be that the tracks which could be found under 69RSTRAX were ‘released’ before public domain sets in.

*****

Check out Somebody up there likes me, a doc about the life of Ronnie Wood.

*****

Bill Wyman has a new book out set for release on Feb, 29 called Stones: From the Inside

*****

The film, The Burnt Orange Heresy looks great and will open on March 6.

*****

Steve Martin has been talking about next year’s Hulu series he did with Martin Short, Only murders in the building. I thought it was a bit but apparently it is real and I can’t wait!!

*****

I loved Samantha Bee’s take on ghost sex: Spook softly and carry a big dick. Too funny!

*****

Bill Maher just bought a new place in Avalon on Santa Catalina Island for a mil. The area boasts hardly any cars as most people get around on foot or by golf cart.

*****

Stephen Colbert’s executive producer Tom Purcell came up with the idea years ago for a home makeover show that does a re-do on murder houses. Someone else came along and thought it again because now we have Murder House Flip.

*****

Abby Huntsman has left the View.

*****

The Oscar noms are out with Joker leading the pack. There is Leo and Joaquin for actor and Hanks, Hopkins, Pacino, Pesci and Pitt for supporting. That is the TOUGH category. For actress there is Cynthia Erivo and Renee Z. Kathy Bates is up for supporting. Johansson is up for 2. For films, they love Ford V Ferrari, The Irishman, Jo Jo Rabbit, Marriage Story, Joker, Little Women, 1017, Parasite and Once upon a time in Hollywood.

*****

Dave Chappelle, Marianne Williamson and Donald Glover are helping to raise $ for Andrew Yang.

*****

The last season of Criminal Minds is officially underway and I was so fucking glad that Dorian Harewood was there for the final shows. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Neil Young and John Oliver are now American citizens

*****

Interrogation is a new tv series that looks promising.

*****

Wes Anderson’s new film, French Dispatch that he wrote with Hugo Guinness, Jason Schwartzman and Roman Coppola will be out on July 24. The production features Benecio del Toro, Adrien Brody, Tilda Swinton, Frances McDormand and Bill Murray.

*****

The Russell Simmons doc about his incidents with women has lost its executive producer, Oprah.

*****

John Stewart has written and directed a new film, Irresistible starring Steve Carell and Chris Cooper.

*****

I am so sick of the multiple pens it takes to sign the documents when they sign something into law etc. You are wasting our money signing a letter at a time, politicians just so U can give some crap as a keepsake. Let’s have a real signature! I don’t think the average person would be allowed to sign official papers that way.

*****

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has decided on their new inductees: Depeche Mode, The Doobie Brothers, T Rex, Whitney Houston, Notorious B.I.G., Nine inch nails and the Ahmet Ertegun award will go to manager Irving Azoff along with journalist and manager Jon Landau.

*****

Julian Castro is out, Marianne Williamson is out, Cory Booker is out.** Sanders got the endorsement of Nevada’s largest teacher’s union and the black caucus.** Bloomberg says he will use his $ for whoever is the democratic candidate. He is also running an anti-gun ad during the Super Bowl.

*****

I wish Rep. Doug Collins would stop talking.

*****

Ken Jennings was the big Jeopardy winner in the showdown.

*****

Diego the tortoise has had so much sex that he saved his species. There were only a few of them left and now there are about 2,000.

*****

The Tokyo 2020 Olympics will be here July 24.

*****

Warren and Bernie got into it after the January debate. They sort of called each other liars.

*****

Hillary Clinton is the first female chancellor of Queens University.** The Justice department inquiry into Hillary has finally ended. They found nothing.

*****

The Golden Globes had some very deserving winners like Succession, Brian Cox, Laura Dern, Olivia Coleman, Patricia Arquette and Joaquin Phoenix. Tarantino was honored for his writing. I think the best dressed were numerous this year. There was hardly a wrong choice except for J Lo, Thomasin Mckenzie, Ryan Seacrest and Beyonce. I loved Joey King, Michelle Pfeifer, Kaitlin Deaver, Rose Leslie, Cate Blanchett, Ellen and Portia, Phoebe Waller- Bridge, Cynthia Erivo, Eddie Murphy and Paige Butcher, Brad and Leo, Zoe Kravitz, Helen Mirren, Annabelle Wallis, Lisa Lu, Bill Hader, Kerry Washington, Lisa Bonet, Colin Jost and Scarlett Johansson, Patricia Arquette and Nicole Ansari-Cox.

*****

The SAG award also had some very well dressed which included Reese Witherspoon, Michelle Williams, Lupita Nyongo, Zoey Kravitz, Millie Bobbie Brown the Schitts Creek cast and Patricia Arquette. Christina Applegate was a bit too old school but she rocked it. The people on the SAG carpet were very chatty.  Parasite was named best cast. Other winners included Zellweger, Joaquin, Sam Rockwell, The Crown, Laura Dern and Dinklage. I have not seen The Morning Show but I was a bit shocked to see Jennifer Aniston win over Jody Comer, Helena Bonham Carter, Olivia Coleman or Elizabeth Moss. This was an award from her fellow actors so I suppose they wanted to send her some love. Her ex Brad Pitt won as well and went on and on about himself.

*****

The Grammys were pretty somber with a lot of ballads and the sadness of the death of Kobe Bryant that day. Aerosmith refused to let drummer Joey Kramer play with them and many found the performance a mess. A wonderful moment was Tanya Tucker and Brandi Carlile with their song that went on to win best country song. Tanya Tucker won best country album. Other winners included Billir Eilish, Lizzo, Elvis Costello and the imposters, Gary Clark Jr., Nipsey Hussle and John Legend, Willie Nelson, Michelle Obama and Dave Chappelle. I had no love for the fashion of Ariana Grande or Rosalia. My best dressed were Lizzo, Camila Cabello, Elle Mai, Jameela Jamill, Billy Porter, Bebe Rexha and Alessandria Ambrosia.

*****

Roman Polanski’s An Officer and a spy captured the most noms at France’s Cesar awards.

*****

What IS Iran’s cyber capability? Give us details when it comes to Trump’s act of aggression against Iran. Wasn’t he supposed to get us out of the Middle East?** Our own government has concluded that withholding aid to Ukraine was illegal even though half the Senate does not seem to care.

*****

Dori Miller is the first person who was not a President to have an aircraft carrier named after him. The African American hero was at first not recognized for his bravery but FDR changed that. Construction will be completed in about 8 years.

*****

Gustav Klempt’s missing Portrait of a Lady was found in a hole in the wall of a house. It had not been seen since 1997.

*****

Kathy Griffin got married on New Year’s Eve to her long time love, Randy Bick with Lily Tomlin officiating.

*****

Venture capitalist Imaad Zuberi pled guilty to obstruction of justice for impeding a Federal investigation into the inaugural fraud.

*****

Eric Swalwell has said that everybody will want the Trump trial in the future wherein the person on trial gets to make the rules. It will be a thing. Who needs witnesses?

*****

So there is a story that many Puerto Rican’s have had to move to the continental U.S. (mostly Fla.) because of the lack of help they have received from the current administration. Now, they can only vote in primaries in Puerto Rico but when they settle in other places they can actually VOTE for President. Lesson: Help Others!

*****

A Federal court just affirmed an injunction preventing the Trump administration from discharging air force members living with HIV. It is hard to keep up on all the despicable things this administration is doing.** Scary Clown 45 thinks he is responsible for low cancer rates. They have been steadily going down anyway. He wants a 4.9 bil cut in medical research, 897 mil cut in National cancer institute and a 763 mil cut for the CDC. Luckily it didn’t happen.

*****

Apparently before the impeachment trial began, Trump’s legal team gave thousands of dollars in contributions to Moscow Mitch, Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz. What a sad time for this country. KEEP INVESTIGATING ANYWAY.

*****

A new immigrant prison just opened in Baldwin, Michigan, run by GEO, a for profit prison company.

*****

The wall is costing about 20 mil a mile and the 100 miles or so completed have mostly been repairs to existing structure. When G W Bush was in office the cost was about 4 mil a mile.** About 30 feet of the wall feel into Mexico due to high winds.

*****

Season 7 of Grace and Frankie will be the last.

*****

The White House streamed a sermon from the Holy City Church of God in Christ in Memphis. The event that VP Pence attended for the MLK holiday was led by a pastor who claimed that our gay friends were possessed by demons.

*****

Days alert: Loved Kristen’s call back to Rosemary’s baby again when talking about little Andy or Jenny. I can’t believe that in those same flashbacks we learned what a horrible Mother’s Day they had.  How could so much go wrong in 1 day? ** Hooray, More Tony and Anna!! ** The heartbreak of John and Marlena and the evil of the brainwashed really harkens back to the heyday of Days.** I wish that the baby mix up story would bring Tate and Theresa back to town! It is time for she and Brady to get back together!

*****

Rudy has started a podcast.

*****

I am often not a fan of tradition (royal, religious or otherwise) but I admit it gave me great comfort to see the articles of impeachment walked carefully to the Senate chamber. We still have a little bit of order amidst all the chaos of the Trump era.

*****

The Astros are cheaters.

*****

The super bowl will be upon us on Feb.2 with Kansas City V San Francisco.

*****

6139 military vets committed suicide in 2019. R.I.P.

*****

R.I.P. victims of the Australian fires, Chris Tolkein, Neil Peart, David Olney , Terry Jones, Mr. Peanut , Jim Lehrer , victims of the Calabasas helicopter crash and Buck Henry.

[coffee-and-2-am-writing]

Kiss and Tell by Katie McCombs

Sam was banned from using magic for several reasons. Many of them I got to personally experience, though none targeted me directly except for one. You see, Sam wanted to find a faster way to get home and being the impatient person he is Sam tried to create a spell to get us home after a long day. Needless to say, he messed up big time and yours truly ended up in an entirely different universe. It was difficult to tell at first. New York City was generically the same, the buildings just as high, the streets justs as busy, the city just as noisy etc. But when the last thing you’ve seen is your idiot of a wizard friend suddenly vanishing, you get the feeling that something is wrong. At first, I thought maybe he had teleported himself somewhere or turned himself invisible.

“Sam? Sam what did you do?” No answer proved the later question wasn’t true. So maybe texting Sam instead would get some answers. I didn’t have any service, for some reason my phone wouldn’t work at all. Obviously, this was worrying to me. It felt like that one scene in the first Captain America where Steve Rogers gets out into the modern world and looks confused as hell.

If someone had seen me during that time, that could probably confirm that I pretty much looked like that scene almost exactly.

There weren’t many places that Sam could’ve gone to. His work, Jakes’ place, the apartment building and Cherry’s were the main places that you could find most anyone in our friend group. I decided on heading to Cherry’s, even if Sam wasn’t there hopefully Lani would be and she could help me sort out whatever was going on. The streets seemed a bit different, stores weren’t where they were supposed to be or knock off stores like the Calina Klein store and others like that. It took several wrong turns and asking some confused people in the street to get to the familiar cafe. Yet even there something seemed off. From looking in through the windows I couldn’t spot the energetic red headed woman who usually was walking around talking to most anyone she could. I only could see a red headed man instead, greeting people from behind the counter with another guy standing next to him.

Never once had I ever seen either one of them before in all the years I’ve ever been to Cherry’s.

Nonetheless, I headed in on my mission to find Lani no matter who was at the counter.

“Hi, I’m Cherry what can I get you?” A weird noise of surprise came from my throat. This man was not Cherry, Cherry was a short lady who was for sure not this muscular man with a beard. Despite giving him a weird look, the man claiming to be Cherry continued to smile at him.

“Uh, sorry, I’m looking for my friend Lani Farrell. Is she in right now?”

“Do you mean Landon?” The boy next to “Cherry” asked. “It’s an often confusion, my sister calls me that sometimes in public to embarrass me.” I looked at him in confusion. Who the hell was Landon? Why did I care about what his sister called him? Where was Lani?

“No, no I mean Lani. I need to talk to her about the stupid thing that her boyfriend, Sam, has done. It’s urgent.” His face turned very serious instantly before suddenly he was coming around and pulling me to the side to chat. “What did Sam do? She’s done a lot of stupid things.”

“Is your Sam a wizard?”

“How did you-.”

“Do you live with her and your brother wait no sister?” Landon’s brows furrowed together, confusion clear on his face.

“Who the hell are you? How do you know that?” It was all starting to set in. Sam hadn’t set himself far away. No, he had sent me into a whole other universe.

Another dimension where Lani was now a male and Sam, Mori and Cherry were female. Did that mean the rest of the gang also were other genders? Was there a female me? Now that was an intriguing question.

“Look, Landon, my Sam made a big mistake and I’m not too sure if you are going to believe me but I’m kinda hoping you will.My name is Jason Romanos.” I took a deep breath. “And I think Sam sent me into a different dimension.” For a long time he just stared at me, maybe thinking over what I had just told him. Although I had no idea, maybe he just thought I was pretty who knows. But he was staring at my face for a long time, it felt like someone was staring into my soul. I didn’t know much about kitsune but I wasn’t sure whether or not that was something they could do. Eventually I was let go and he took a step back.

“Okay, I kinda believe you. You’re gonna need to stay here though, try not to interact with too many people. After every episode of Doctor Who that I’ve seen I cannot have you messing anything up here. So just stay here and I’ll get Sam and we’ll send ya back okay?” I nodded slowly before he was off quickly out the door, shouting some excuse to “Cherry” as he left. And then I was stuck there, not that I wanted to leave anyhow. Cherry’s at least had coffee, and if you were close enough to Cherry sometimes the occasional beer. It seemed unlikely I would be getting myself beer in this universe so I got myself coffee instead and sat at the counter.

What if I didn’t get home? How would Naomi and Charlie survive without me? Or worse, I thought, how would I survive without Namoi and Charlie? I couldn’t stay in in this other universe, if all the genders here were swapped then my job belonged to some girl version of me. Hopefully a hot girl version of me. Grinning slightly to myself, I sipped my coffee idly trying to picture what girl me looked like.

“Hi.” Assuming the greeting was for me, I looked up to where the voice had come from. I was greeted by a smiling blonde leaning up against the counter next to me. My grin slowly turned into a sly smirk as I turned my body slightly to face her.

“Hi there.”

“Mind if I join you?” With a shake of my head, the blonde took the seat next to me. As a waitress came over and she ordered herself some coffee, I took the time to really look at this girl. If she could take my mind off of everything that was going on in the moment, it’d be perfect. Glancing at the door as well it didn’t look like Landon was going to be back any time soon, perhaps I could convince this blonde to go get drinks or something before I was whisked away back to the universe I belonged in.

“So, can I ask why a beautiful girl decided to grace my presence?” She nearly choked on her drink, her face turning a nice light pink color as she began to laugh lightly.

“You just, you looked kind of lonely if I’m being honest. And my friends kind of pushed me to come over and talk to you.” The blonde gestured behind her at two brunettes who were watching the two of them closely. They both waved slightly at me, one giving me a cheeky wink.

“How nice of them, what are their names?” I never asked her name, did I

“Oh um the one on the right is Steph and the one on the left is Jess.” Funny, their names sounded close to...oh. I had found Stefan and myself.Giving a slight wave back I looked over myself and damn, I was one hella hot girl. I didn’t know you could turn yourself on.

“Nice names, and I’m realizing now that I never got yours and you never got mine,” I laughed holding out my hand to her. “I’m Jason.”

“I’m Marcie. Marcie Jackson.” My smirk returned faster than Usain Bolt running in the olympics. Girl Marcus was hot, it was nice to see we were all attractive in this universe as well.

“Well Marcie, how would you like to go get a drink? And I don’t mean more coffee.” Her face turned a shade darker and I began to see the similarities between her and my Marcus back home. Both did not take compliments well.

“I’m not sure-”

“She’d love to, I’ll just drink the rest of your drink.” One of the girls from the table had joined us. She gave me a smile, or was it a slight smirk, that seemed eerily familiar.

“I’m Jess Romanos.” Ah, that’s was why. I shook her hand introducing myself, not bothering to give my last name. I was even hotter up close, it should’ve been impossible to be so attracted to yourself but god damn. “Anyways, I’m sure Marcie would love to get drinks with you Jason.” The look Marcie was giving her friend said otherwise. After a few harsh whispers between the two, Jess was taking Marcie’s cup of coffee and leaving with a wink sent towards us, it wasn’t clear to whom it was more towards. Knowing myself, it could’ve been to either of us.

Taking Marcie to get drinks was not my best plan I’ll admit it. Landon was going to get me help, it would’ve been responsible to stay put and wait for him to come back to go home. But when you’re stuck in a parallel universe with the very attractive girl version of your neighbor, you may want to take advantage of that. Especially if they start flirting with you.

I remembered a few things from that night after that point if I’m honest. We ended up having quite a few drinks at the bar and back at her place later on. One of the things I remember was being dragged into the girl’s bathroom as a panicked Marcie looked for somewhere to escape from seeing her ex in the place we ended up going to. When Marcus got flustered around me it usually ended up with him telling me to go fuck myself or almost punching me in the face. Flustered Marcie was just really shy and, well, flustered.

I decided I liked flustered Marcie a lot better than her counterpart pretty fast.

“I’m sorry he’s just-he cheated on me and I have no idea what he’s doing here he’s not even supposed to be in the city and last time I saw Eli was a bad night and I just-I’m really sorry I just dragged you into a bathroom.” She laughed nervously looking around her awkwardly. “I’m so sorry, this is probably all really weird right?” “A little bit, but honestly it’s not the weirdest thing to happen to me today.” I chuckled, my gaze dropping for a moment to her lips as she bit her bottom one. “But uh that may be a story for another time.” Another time that would never come around, but Marcie didn’t know that. No, she was still biting her god damn lip. The blonde could’ve talked about anything, I just hummed occasionally something that sounded like I was listening as Marcie and was not just completely entranced by her lips instead. They were quite pink, whether from lipstick or something else.

“-like I said I’m really...sorry...Jason are you okay?” My eyes snapped back up to her confused blue eyes, attempting to act like I hadn’t just spent her whole little spiel staring at her mouth.

“Hm? I’ll be fine in a moment, give me a second I have to do something quickly.” Cupping her face, my lips were pressed against hers. In my opinion it was all very very smooth. She made a small noise of surprise before she was kissing me back. To most, making out in the girls bathroom is kind of strange. There are stranger places that you could make out with someone at, I’ve been to quite a few so trust me.

Kissing Marcie was both strange and enjoyable. Technically I was kissing Marcus, but this version of him actually seemed to like me and was a joy to be around. Not to mention, a great kisser. Her lips were soft, and it was easy to figure out that pinkness was not lipstick as none was on my own lips after the brief kiss. I had said it would be quick, but I found myself being disappointed when I pulled away from her. From where we stood, I could see and feel the smirk I held before making it’s way back. Marcie looked slightly in shock, her hands still resting on my chest where she had placed them in the midst of our kiss.

“Okay, I’m good now.” Her face flushed as she opened and shut her mouth like a fish. Perhaps that was moving too fast for her, after all it was technically Marcus and I could not remember the last time I had ever seen him on a date.

Like, ever.

“Well now I’m not.” Marcie’s words were quiet and I never really got a chance to ask her what she meant as my lips were brought back to hers. When I had kissed her it had been careful and sort of slow. When Marcie kissed me? She had placed her hands on the back of my neck and pulled my face down to hers, kissing me quite roughly. It was something I would have never expected from someone who was supposed to be the shy and generally unconfident neighbor.

Like I said, I only remember so much. I remember we somehow maneuvered so I had her pressed against the wall as we made out in the bathroom, and that eventually someone came in and kicked us out. While we had been there we had each had one or two drinks, so we weren’t drunk and I don’t believe the alcohol we consumed that night had anything to do with the attraction nor why I don’t remember all of it. The later is more scientifical stuff and is boring so we won’t go down that road.

After getting kicked out I ended up walking Marcie home. The route was familiar, after all in another world the exact same path was void of the both of us instead being walked by perhaps the gang and some strangers. Looking down at Marcie, she had a permanent flush to her cheeks for the entire walk back to her place.

“Are you cold? Your face looks kinda red.” Her blush deepened, trying to hide it in the collar of her coat.

“I’m fine, just embarrassed. I’ve never gotten kicked out of a place for making out with someone in the bathroom before.”

“If I’m being honest, I don’t have the same feeling.” This recieved a look I was quite used to see from Marcus only now it was on a slightly shorter female with bouncy blonde curls. “What? I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve made out with people in bathrooms and have gotten kicked out. It’s fine, life goes on.” I told her, grinning slightly as she huffed, blowing a strand of hair from her face.

“You’re practically a stranger Jason and I just made out with you in a bathroom of some bar. That’s not normal for me whereas with what you just said it seems pretty normal for you.” I felt that sting there at the end, that still didn’t make me ashamed of what I had done in the past. It was the past, and my ways were my ways. I was a siren, it was my nature to be like that but this wasn’t something Marcie needed to hear.

“Getting out of your comfort zone and doing things you’ve never done before is a good coping method most of the time. What are you coping with?”

“Seeing my lying, cheating, bastard of an ex.” I nodded in understanding. Everyone had someone that just seeing them could lead them to make dumb decisions. I was curious if that had been the reasoning she held when she invited me in. Or if had been her reasoning for offering me another drink. Or if it had been the reason she had kissed me again while we were sat on the couch. Or if it had been the reason behind her leading me to her room. Or if it had been the reason for her eventually pushing me on the bed, kissing me more before proceeding to help me get her clothes off and my own off.

Perhaps I lied, maybe I do remember a lot of it.

But just from being in 7B helped learn a few things that I could use to my advantage in my proper world.

Marcie had a stash of an assortment of snacks in her room to keep hidden from Jess and Stephanie

They are really good snacks

A slightly tipsy Marcie is a very, very honest, giggly and kind of decently good at flirting Marcie

Marcie wasn’t just a great kisser. Oh no, she was good at a lot of other things.

And yes, her being good in bed is one of those things mentioned above. There had been a brief panic at one point of whether I had a condom or not but thanks to the very generous roommate, there was a condom on her nightstand along with a note telling us to have a good time along with a winky face. It was signed Jess so I wanted to thank myself for looking out for me.

The next morning, waking up was almost blissful. Keyword there: almost. I got out of Marcie’s bed carefully looking for my pants, because god knows where they had ended up when there was urgent knocking on the door before it was opening and there stood Landon.

A great surprise truly. Especially the extreme look of slight disgust and a little bit of disappointment. But mainly anger. Yeah there was a lot of anger in his eyes and in his voice as he dragged me out of the apartment practically by the ear.

Okay.

Maybe it was literally by the ear but that’s besides the point. I was scolded as if I was four years old by both Landon and Samantha, who also looked very nice in this universe but I kept that to myself as to not upset either of them any further. In the end, honing in on the energy my world Sam was using to get me back, Samantha managed to get me home.

Upon arrival, I socked Sam in the shoulder with a light threat to murder him if he ever did that to me again. Of course, I explained where I ended up and described what their counterparts looked like to the best of my ability, though there was a snap decision to wait until the right moment to share that I had made out with and hooked up with Marcie Jackson. Would I word it like that? Probably not.

Would I word in a way to make sure that when it was announced coffee was spit out like a spit take? Hell yeah.

Until then I had a certain apartment to break into to steal some food and certain blonde to bother.